A Parody of a Wellknown Fairytale
by lightangelwing
Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. Yeah right. What will happen if these two rivals are put a Cinderella fairytale that is quickly turning into a parody with these two.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: The only person I know in this whole wide world that has the rights to own Harry Potter is the talented J.K. Rowling.

Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. Yeah right. What will happen if these two rivals are put a Cinderella fairytale that is quickly turning into a parody with these two.

* * *

'A Parody of a Well-known Fairy Tale'

by nilfheim

Chapter 01

"Harry, stop them!" I shouted to Harry while Ron gave Malfoy a new facial accessory, that is, a black eye. Malfoy gave him the same.

We're in Potions together with the Slytherstinks every Thursday as usual. I would've counted it as a normal day with all the name-calling and murderous glares except what happened this day was enough to give me a shock especially with Snape's new behavior.

Harry, Ron and I were all waiting for Snape with Gryffindors and _ahem_- Slytherins. Typical of Malfoy, he would never miss up a chance to start a little intellectual debate together with Pothead and Weasel as he calls Harry and Ron. Malfoy started with "So, how's the famous "Golden Trio" of Hogwarts are doing?"

Ron's usually okay and would've retaliated Malfoy with the usual reply, "Fine enough Ferret, how about you?" or something like that. But this summer Ron was exposed to a dangerous Muggle sport in my opinion but highly amusing to many adrenaline-charged people. Boxing.

The next thing I knew after Malfoy's comment was a bloody nose, a pair of black eyes from different and highly opposite rivals and a boxing match occurring right in front of us, with Harry as commentator. Okay, a little bit too rushed right?

After Malfoy's comment, quick as lightning, Ron aimed straight for Malfoy's nose except it landed on his upper right lip and a trickle of blood followed.

"YOU BLOODY WEASEL!" Malfoy roared giving an uppercut to Ron.

I've never seen anything like it, I mean Malfoy's got sparks of energy around his eyes like some flashing toy and I swore I saw steam coming from his ears. It would've been all too comical except for the fact Ron was his opponent.

"After an unexpected good punch given by Ronald Weasley to Draco Malfoy, Malfoy has just retaliated back with a nice uppercut to his opponent," Harry started saying and stuff like that.

I didn't care, this was going to get worse and by the time Snape's arrived, Snape's going to deduct a hundred House points and Ron will get detention and all that. So I did the only thing to stop those two.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I pointed my wand to both of them and Malfoy and Ron were stiff as ice.

The crowd looked at me and Harry stopped in the middle of something. I pushed my way going to the two.

"First of all I'm highly ashamed that two prefects will be caught fighting over something that is so trivial as a simple hello-"

"That was no hello Hermione and you know that!" Ron interrupted although he couldn't do anything.

"Precisely Ms. Granger," a well-known voice commented from behind.

I slowly looked around and saw Snape looming over us, grinning maliciously and probably planning a hundred ways to torture Ron and a hundred excuses for not deducting points from the Slytherins and giving a less painful detention to Malfoy.

"Detention with Filch, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Weasley, for two weeks," Snape said and started class as if nothing happened.

I sat down with my mouth hanging open. No long, loathing lectures about the inferiority of Gryffindors and the supremacy of the Slytherins? No point deducting which amounts to a hundred? Heaven on earth!

"And I ask Ms. Granger to watch over your detentions with Filch for two weeks," Snape added as Harry escorted Ron to the hospital wing and Zabini doing the same to Malfoy.

This time my jaw was nearly reaching the ground. Either Snape must be sick or something or everything just went downhill today minus Snape adding to the injury because he was converted by some saintly person. I tried hard to stifle a laugh as Snape gave us instructions for another potion to work on. Snape? Deciding to change his beastly ways to Gryffindors was just as likely as Malfoy kissing a mudblood.

* * *

"So how's Ron?" I asked Harry as we sat down for lunch.

"He's okay except that Ferret was making moaning sounds every now and then, making it look as if he's one who's hurt really badly," Harry replied.

"Well that's normal for Malfoy."

We continued eating, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I asked Snape after Potions if he really meant that I have to oversee Malfoy's and Ron's detention. He said yes, meaning he was on his normal self.

"You know Hermione, since you're going to their detention, I'm going to go there too," Harry suggested.

"Well I don't think it's necessary for you to come already Harry," I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"Just in case Malfoy's got a few tricks up his sleeve you know."

"Or you and Ron infuriating him and giving us more trouble."

"Or Zabini going there too and infuriating Ron," Harry added.

"We're not yet sure if Zabini's going there," I said.

"I just heard him asking Malfoy if he could come while we're on the hospital wing."

"Well that settles it."

* * *

Harry and I made our way to the library exactly seven thirty, a few minutes earlier than their detention. Unfortunately, Zabini and Malfoy were all early too. Filch decided Malfoy and Ron could help Madam Pince in the library by dusting the bookshelves. It seemed I was the only one eager to spend the time in the library. Harry wandered around while I started doing my homework, starting first with an essay about the properties of moonstones in Potions. Zabini did the same except he sat a few tables away from me.

"Oi, Granger," I heard Zabini calling out.

I prepared my wand just in case Zabini was actually planning to hex me the moment I faced him. I slowly turned around and looked at him.

"What?" I said in an irritated tone, hoping he'll just leave me alone.

"Could you help me with this chart?" he asked, referring to an intricate chart in Arithmancy.

"Come over here and I'll help you," I said, resisting to move.

Zabini and I both ditched Divination and we're in the same class in Arithmancy instead. Professor Vector favors him. Probably because Zabini's the only Slytherin I know in our batch who has enough brains to figure out anything in Arithmancy.

Ten minutes later Harry came back with a pile of books in his arms as Zabini and I looked over parchments, books and scrolls for our homework. I looked over, reading the titles in Harry's pile of books. Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty. Rapunzel. Is this some joke or Harry's really interested in reading fairytales?

"Interesting choice of books Potter," a well-known voice commented behind.

"These aren't just any books, they're a virtual learning experience, kinda like 3D games except you feel, see, taste and touch everything in sight," Harry explained.

"The what?" Malfoy asked.

"Finished cleaning?" Zabini asked.

"Yes, except for that Weasel," Malfoy replied, sitting next to Zabini.

"I'm already finished Malfreak!" Ron hollered, running towards us.

"Finally after what seems like ten years," Malfoy smirked.

I pulled a book from Harry's stack and looked at the title, Cinderella. It was a picture book really and there was nothing odd in them except for one thing, Cinderella has no face. As I stared at the pictures, I suddenly feel sleepy for no reason. And that was the only thing I knew after I settled into deep slumber. Harry was following suit and so did Zabini, Ron and Malfoy.

* * *

"Cinderella! Cinderella!" a haughty voice sounding like Pansy Parkinson woke me up.

I opened my eyes and saw myself holding a broomstick in one hand, a dirty, dampened rag in another and I was wearing a dirty brown dress with a matching tattered apron.

"Where are my robes?" I cried aloud, looking at myself in dismay.

"Cinderella! I already told you to clean the house before we go to the ball!" Parkinson barked at me, wearing a fancy ballroom gown that in my opinion didn't suit her and her pug-looking face.

"Yes and Cinderella, cook dinner before we arrive from the ball!" Lavender shouted at me, wearing a peach ballroom gown with swags and ribbons.

"Cinderella? Why are you calling me Cinderella?" I asked.

"Idiot! Because that's your name!" Lavender replied.

"Is this a play of yours or something Lavender?" I asked, getting confused every second.

I heard last night from Parvati that Lavender was going to make a play and every Gryffindor was involved for Professor McGonagall's birthday. I don't how she got hold of Professor McGonagall's birthday though.

"What are you talking about Cinderella? You're supposed to clean this house moron, before we arrive from the ball or else!" Lavender shouted, pointing a finger at me.

I was impressed. I didn't know Lavender could act as a baddie very well.

"Very good Lavender, I'm impressed with your acting," I said, clapping my hands.

Lavender pulled Pansy away from me and they huddled together at the back, shooting glances to me. What the hell are they talking about anyway?

* * *

"Hey, I thought we're supposed to make Cinderella's life miserable," Pansy whispered to Lavender.

"I know, only she's not following the script for the story though. Omigosh! Look at the clock, we're going to get late for the ball!" Lavender said, pointing to the grandfather clock on the wall.

* * *

"Bye Cinderella, we're going to the ball now and marry a prince and make the rest of your wretched existence in this world even more miserable!" Parkinson called out to me as she and Lavender rushed out of the door.

Parvati suddenly appeared, wearing a royal looking midnight blue gown with ruffles.

"Cinderella, remember to clean this house. And also remember your wicked stepmother!" Parvati cackled.

"Um…" I started but was cut off.

"Ta ta for now, we're going to the royal ball and you're not coming," Parvati added and stuck a tongue to me then slammed the door, leaving me stunned.

I _am_ Cinderella?

* * *

AN: Review please people! This is partly inspired from Daa! Daa! Daa! in the Cinderella episode. 


	2. Baby Godfather Harry

Disclaimer: I do own Harry Potter. Just kidding.

* * *

A Parody of a Well-known Fairytale

Chapter 02- 'Baby Godfather Harry'

By nilfheim

The moment Parvati or my Wicked Stepmother or whatever slammed the door, I just sat there, stupefied beyond belief. Then it occurred to me I was Cinderella and Cinderella was supposed to clean the entire house, I mean, mansion before her two demented stepsisters and her wicked stepmother arrived from the Royal Ball. I quickly grabbed my broomstick and started to sweep the floor.

Gee, what is the world coming to?

One minute I was Hermione Jane Granger and the next, I am Cinderella. Poof! Just like that.

Or maybe Voldemort decided I was a real threat to his defeat-the-boy-who-lived plans and decided to banish me into in this fairytale world. Or that stupid git, Draconius Malfreak and his crony, Blaiseus Zavenus, played a prank to me without my realizing that. Argh! Whatever!

* * *

Draco Malfoy chatted with his best friend Blaise Zabini about a few things concerning what Slytherins are supposed to be concerned with, anyway. Draco suddenly noticed Granger falling asleep with one of Potter's books in front of her. This little incident whet Draco's curiosity and he managed to snatch the book Granger was reading before going off to La-La Land without being noticed by Potter and Weasley.

"Hey, why did you do that for?" Blaise asked, puzzled with his friend's behavior.

"Hey give it back Malfoy!" Potter called out, noticing the absence of the book in front of Hermione's.

"Just give me a sec, Scarhead and I'll give it back to you gladly. It's not like your life depended on this book anyway," Draco said, flipping the pages.

Draco saw Cinderella in the picture book. He was reminded of Granger.

'Well that's way too weird, Cinderella just looks exactly like Ms. Bushy Head over here,' Draco mused, flipping the pages.

Draco saw the illustration of the prince. There was also something weird about it. The prince had _no face_.

'What kind of picture book is this anyway? Whoever draw it sure left some important details that really needs to be filled,' Draco thought.

All of a sudden, he was feeling sleepy. Very sleepy.

The last thing that he saw was Blaise prying the book from his hands and Potter threatening Blaise to give it back to them.

* * *

"Do I have to make myself clear to you Zabini? Give it back or else!" Potter threatened, brandishing his wand.

"Or else what?" Blaise taunted, enjoying the look on Potter's face while looking at the book.

"Just what the heck are the two of you all so concerned about with this book?" Weasley asked.

Instead of answering him back, Ron watched Harry and Zabini exchange more loathing words. Ron just suddenly snatched the book away from Zabini and laid it back on the center of the table.

"I'll turn the pages so the two of you can get a look without arguing all over again. Madam Pince might kick us out of the library," Ron said and started turning the pages.

'Heck, why in the whole wide world did I became concerned about us getting detention once Madam Pince kicks out of the library? I'm starting to sound like Hermione, which is TOTALLY NOT GOOD,' Ron thought.

They saw Cinderella and the Prince, it reminded them of a couple of people they knew. And they also passed several faceless illustrations. Which was quite a bit odd for a picture book anyway. A couple more seconds and they were all getting sleepy all of a sudden.

* * *

After sweeping the floor, I suddenly stopped. I was thinking more about my role or myself as Cinderella. If I was Cinderella, I'm supposed to go to the ball and marry the prince and live happily ever after just what liked they use to say in fairytales and all. But before that, I've got a FAIRY GODMOTHER!

Question is, where's my fairy godmother anyway?

Or maybe I was supposed to whine and cry dramatically, speaking aloud my intention to go to the ball too. Absolutely no way in hell! I' m not a very good actress anyway. So I did the only reasonable yet logical thing on my mind at this moment to make my fairy godmother to appear so soon.

"Hey fairy godmother, whether you can hear me or not, I want to go to the ball too!" I bellowed up at the skies.

Nothing happened except a loud thunderclap. Perhaps my fairy godmother heard me. Or maybe not.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" I shouted as an afterthought.

Woops! That last one didn't sound polite and proper. I hit myself in the head. How am I supposed to get my fairy godmother anytime soon? I mean, pleasantries and polite talk are common knowledge to give you any fairy godmother should you happen to be stuck in a fairytale world like mine's. Being rude is one surefire way not to meet a fairy godmother.

And I do desperately need one right now.

* * *

Harry found himself in a dim shop filled with racks and racks of clothes, be it muggle or for the wizarding world. Harry sat on a stool and observed the surroundings or what seemed like a gazillion of clothes to him. He wondered if he somehow touched a Portkey or he slept for a while and sleep-walked and somehow used Floo powder to transport himself into some place he didn't know.

He found himself thinking about the Cinderella fairytale book in the library that somehow ended up its way to Hermione and then to Malfoy and then to Zabini and finally to Ron. Harry was amazed by his behavior for the past events, he acted a lot more like Ron. Harry knew that Madam Pince would surely request for expulsion once she found out he damaged in some way or another any of the magical and antique picture books he borrowed.

Which was a perfect logical reason why he acted a little bit like Ron earlier.

Harry stood up and touched a baby costume intended for adults. Harry stifled a laugh as he examined them, spotting Dobby designs on the overalls.

'And who in their right minds would wear such a thing for Halloween? Unless of course they're a bunch of nuts or a part of 'I _absolutely, truly and most surely_ love babies to death' fanlistings' Harry thought.

A flash of light followed and a baby with jet black and messed up hair, green eyes and lightning bolt-shaped scar was giggling on the floor. The baby held a wand and a pair of fairy wings was on his back. The same baby costume Harry held seconds ago was on the baby right now.

* * *

BOOM!

Baby blue smoke suddenly erupted, filling most of the room. I coughed and when the smoke cleared away, I was sure my jaw was already reaching the ground.

I, Hermione Jane Granger, had never seen the most shocking and equally disturbing thing in my life except if you count the day I saw Malfoy and Parkinson having a french kiss at Madam Puddifoot's.

A little bit exaggerated eh? Anyway it was like this, I saw my fairy godmother. Oh wait, correct that. More like baby fairy godfather. And a Harry look-alike too.

I peered closer and saw a lightning bolt-shaped scar. And right away I knew it was no Harry look-alike. It was _baby_ Harry. I fought back gales of laughter nearly erupting from my throat. Harry looked quite ridiculous. And when I say ridiculous, I really meant it.

Harry's glasses were replaced with a thick, black frame and absolutely round lenses, making him look like a genius or a nerd. He also wore gigantic baby shoes, or more like, baby clown shoes in bright blue. I scrutinized his light blue overalls with orange pockets (which clashed horribly in my opinion) with designs of Dobby dancing around.

Wait a sec, since did when Dobby made himself a famous icon in children's clothing?

Never mind that, just let me tell the rest of Harry's clothing. White shirt with pinstripe designs and yellow socks. Add those fake-looking fairy wings and you've got one perfect suit to feature in the fashion channel labeled as 'Worst Fashion Faux Pas 4 Babies Alone'.

"Um, Harry…" I started but Harry giggled and then pointed his wand.

A second later and I was holding a lottery ticket with a plasma TV on the wall. The host shouted today's lucky numbers and I looked at my ticket. I won. Except I didn't want it.

"Harry I want to go to the ball," I said, throwing the ticket away. I knew I was going to regret it later but who cares?

Harry giggled more and a limo came from the roof. I shook my head. Harry pointed his wand again and I was swimming in money. This time I lost my patience because I was already getting late for the ball.

"Harry, ENOUGH ALREADY! I said I wanted to go to the ball, not win the lotto, get a limo from the sky or have tons of money," I shouted.

Harry stopped giggling and suddenly tears formed from the corner of his eyes. I could see he was now getting ready for one loud outburst of tears.

"Um Harry, you can conjure anything you want now you know. It was pretty cool anyway," I reassured him and Harry stopped sniffling.

"But can you please change my dress into something a tad fancier and while you're at it, provide me a carriage also," I added.

Harry smiled again and changed my dress into a ball gown. I could see it had a million or so Swarovski crystals on the skirt.

"Wow!" I exclaimed, turning around.

I faced Harry again and saw my carriage. It was in the shape of a paper lantern, not a pumpkin.

"Hey, this ain't a pumpkin carriage!" I protested while boarding up.

Harry didn't say anything but pointed his wand instead. The carriage shot out of the roof with the horses and landed on the road. I'll have to remind myself to think of an excuse later to my stepsisters and stepmother why there was a gargantuan hole in the roof.

I looked out of the window and saw the palace with its towers and all. I stuck my head out of the window, feeling the wind whipping across my face.

"Woohoo! To the Royal Ball and beyond!" I shouted.

I hope the prince is some gorgeous guy with manners. Not like Malfoy.

Hold on, why am I thinking of him at this moment?

* * *

AN: Finally! Second chappie finished. Thank you to all my reviewers. Now, just click that Go! button and submit a review to make my day! 


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